I do not have attractive feet. I don't think anyone has stunningly beautiful feet, but mine, to me, are particularly unattractive. My toes are way long, second toes are longer than the first toes (which is supposed to be a sign of intelligence, but to me it looks like a monkey thing), and there's a huge gap between my big toe and my second toe. Which is weird, because I rarely wear flip-flop type shoes (they make too much noise slapping my feet when I walk). Finally, to add insult to injury, ever since the summer of 2004 and The Drive from Maryland to Washington, when it's very hot and I'm sitting a lot (to work), my feet turn into these giant fluid-filled Fred Flinstone looking things. It's called dependent edema, and it's a fucking insult is what it is.
Anyway, occasionally I feel the urge to paint my toenails, because they make my feet look marginally like girl feet instead of big, fat boy feet. This is what I did this morning with a new polish that I got yesterday. The polish is fabulous in the bottle, I'm in love with the color, Violet Vision. On my feet, though, it's not pretty anymore. Doesn't suit my skin tone at all, and my feet to me look diseased now.
See? I knew I should have gone with the Superman blue color. That one always makes me and my toes happy.
2 comments:
diseased? OMG! HAHAHAHAHHA Connie, leave it to you to come up with some pretty weird descriptive words about nail polish. I think you ought to write to the company and tell them they need to rename the color. I think they're kind of cute. I love your little toe rings.
Diseased? Sorry, I'm still laughing. GAWD. I've always stuck with reds and pinks myself.
I was just thinking of painting my toenails boring beige this morning with an overlay of crystal glitter. I didn't get to it though.
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