A woman's hair

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to mention oral sex in this blog at least once, possibly more. If the thought of that gives you the skeevies, come back on Friday, and TTBM and TTPM won't have any mention of oral sex, OK?

Yesterday, on a message board that I read, there was a really interesting conversation about the length of a woman's hair. It started innocently enough with a particular poster wondering if she should get a short hair cut. Eventually it became a thread about pedicures, which was one of the best segues I've seen in a long time, but I digress (which is the way I generally segue).

Anyway, one response in particular got me thinking and then pissed me off. The answer was, in essence, that no matter what we as women want to do with our hair, men always prefer long hair and we as women need to keep that in mind.

Every single alarm in my brain goes off at this. First off, not all men universally like long hair just like all men universally are not straight. That sort of really sweeping generalization is just stupid. Second, who gives a shit if men like long hair? It's been my personal experience that men like blow jobs, too, but does that keep me on my knees 24 hours a day waiting to accommodate? No, and not just because I'm single, but because my preferences matter more to me than anyone else's (which may in part explain why I'm still single, but that's a completely different blog), and I prefer an equal opportunity man. Plus I don't fuck men who don't eat pussy (but again another blog).

Anyhow, in the land of blow jobs it's also been my experience that men like to watch. And if you have long hair, someone's got to fuss with it. Either he holds it back (which I don't like because that gives him the idea that it's OK to touch my head while I'm down there, and it most assuredly is NOT OK, touching leads to pushing and that's when I bite), or you have to put it back with a headband or a ponytail holder or something, and that detracts from the spontaneity of the whole thing. So short hair is a great advantage there. Nobody has to mess with anything and everyone just gets to the task at hand. Which, for the guy involves not thinking about baseball (or anything else distracting). Don't try to prolong the pleasure, because I'll get tired and bored and then the fun will end, and I won't do it again. In my estimation, premature ejaculation is actually a bonus if I'm giving head.

Hmm, that was an interesting segue.

Anyway, to my original point, when deciding on a new hairstyle and considering whether or not to go short, the opinion of a man, unless he's your stylist, ranks right down there with what my kindergarten teacher thinks, that is to say not at all. It's your hair, your life, your time spent futzing with it in the morning. If he likes long, flowing locks, let him grow his own damn hair out. And if he's bald, too bad. Sucks to be him.

Yep, it's not even a little bit surprising that I'm still single, is it?