Well Hell

So I got a speeding ticket on Saturday night because I'm a moron. I was coming home from a "girls only" party that I had been at with my mom and some friends. Good food, good trash talking of men, good times. But, I had no coffee in my house at all. This is not acceptable. So I knew that I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home for coffee. I was thinking about the coffee and thinking about the coffee and reminding myself not to turn right to go home but to go forward and then take a left and go to the store. Simple enough. But apparently that thought was enough to take away my ability to spot the cop who's pretty much always sitting in the speed trap on the way from my mom's area into town. I'm driving along, thinking about my coffee, and I notice someone else has been pulled over. I think "sucks to be that guy." And then I notice the flashers in my rear-view. At first I was hoping he was just trying to get around me, but no. I pull to the right, and he's right behind me (blinding me with the spotlight, I might add). Dammit!

I immediately pull out my driver's license, but can I find my registration and proof of insurance? Of course not. I have them both in the car, but I'm nervous and I can't quite put my hands on them. It takes a while, but I finally locate them, when the cop tells me, "there's your registration right there." This was, of course, after he asked me if I knew the speed limit through there, if I knew how fast I was going, and finally if I went that way a lot because, "most people see me sitting there all the time and slow down." I've seen him (or another cop) there before myself; I just wasn't looking for one this time. Dammit all!

It's been almost 9 years since I had a ticket. The last was on my 33rd birthday on a military installation. I told that 20-year-old snot-faced, pimply-assed little fucktard to bite me after he gave me the ticket. It was my fucking birthday for fuck's sake! That guy should have cut me some slack. (Can you tell I'm STILL pissed about that?) This time, on the other hand, I know I was going too fast. I deserve the ticket, and I will pay. Dammit all to hell!

Still Reading Crazy Hot by Tara Janzen