This can't be good

Today is Saturday. Theoretically, I can sleep in until around 8 o'clock on Saturday and still roll out of bed, throw my hair back into a ponytail, make coffee for my go-cup and make my Weight Watchers meeting (weigh in starts at 8:45, meeting time is 9:15). I wanted to get up a little earlier on this Saturday because after the meeting, I'm going up to Silverdale to meet friends for lunch. We don't get to see each other as much as we'd like, so I'm excited to be making the trip. I have Christmas presents for everyone and birthday presents for 2 of our number, who both happen to be having birthdays this month. My plan was to roll out of the bed around 7:15 or 7:30 so I could do something with my hair besides the ponytail and slap some makeup on. It's always nice to look good.

Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and men and all . . . one of the idiot neighbor's idiot car alarm starts honking at 5 o' fucking clock. I won't lie. I was pissed. Not pissed enough to get out of the bed and call the cops or anything, but enough to shake my fist in the direction of the parking lot where the action is happening. I tried to go back to sleep, and that's where things take a turn for the can't be good side.

Anyway, it's important to note that, like many people (I hope), I have sex dreams pretty frequently. A lot of the time they involve people I've already had sex with, which makes it easier, because you know the moves, you're not surprised by anything, and sometimes it's a nice memory, or a way of dreaming good sex when the reality was mediocre. Most of my sex dreams involve a select few partners, and I'm used to that (and them).

So back to my story. I did sort of go back to sleep and I find myself in one of my more bizarre dreams. But the partner this time was someone quite new (for this phase of my life). It was my first ex-husband, D. I have 2 ex-husbands, they have the same first name and astrological sign. If you're a male Capricorn whose first name begins with the letter D, I don't want to know you (my brother D, another Capricorn, is the only exception to this and that's because he's my brother and I've know him for almost 41 years). It was the weirdest damn dream, I knew who he was, and he looked largely the same as I remember 21+ years later (I literally have not seen this guy since 1985) but his hair was longer. Since he was sporting a military haircut 20-odd years ago, I don't know why his hair was longer, but it was. There was no actual sex in the dream, and not even any nudity, but he was making the moves on me kinda in public. And he kept asking me if there was a chance we'd get back together. In the dream, I kept saying "I don't know, I'm thinking about it." And that's the part that creeps me out. Literally, D (or what's his name as I used to call him) told me that he had fantasies about breaking my arms and burning me with cigarettes. Frankly, that's just the tip of the iceberg with him, and I've been well rid of him since 1985. He was a seriously disturbed guy, probably still is.

The damn dream was too weird, and I made myself wake up rather than let in carry on in a direction where, even in a dream state, I was going to be naked with that guy again.

I have no idea at all what the dream means, or if it means anything at all. Maybe it was just residue from the rude awakening at 5 a.m. Maybe it means I need to get laid.

Aside from that, it was a good day. Weight Watchers meeting went well, even though I posted a small gain. I'm going to start heading that scale back in the right direction soon; I just have to do what I know I need to do. Which probably doesn't involve eating fish and chips at Applebee's (especially when that have a Weight Watchers menu), but I don't care. Lunch was good, and I had a great time. I made good time getting there and back, and now I'm here at home on a Saturday night alone in my pajamas.

I think I probably do need to get laid. . .

CURRENTLY READING: Vengeance In Death by Nora Roberts as J. D. Robb