A trip down memory lane, sort of

OK, it's time for me to blog about something other than my cabinets or lazy people or books. It's time for a quasi-sexual politics blog (rereading, definitely quasi; no actual sex, and just a little politics.)

First for some setup: A couple of years ago on one of my favorite TV shows, Scrubs, Kerri Russell guest starred as a character who would "mack with just about anyone," but she wouldn't go any further. (JD tried to round first and was informed that "Boobtown is a gated community.) I'm bringing this up because in a lot of ways, I used to kinda be that girl. Of course, there were points in my life where I definitely went further for no good reason, but still. I'd mack with just about anyone (still will given the opportunity) but to take it further than that, there actually has to be something else there (unless I'm really drunk, but I don't drink like that anymore).

Also in the land of setup, I was sexually advanced for my age. I haven't been a virgin since April of 1979 (huge error in judgment there; I remember being in the back seat of his father's car thinking, "is this it?" It was a little while before I enjoyed sex, but once I crossed that bridge, there was no looking back). For those of you doing the math at home, I was 14 and in the 9th grade at the time I crawled into that particular back seat.

Anyway, this last week, I made internet contact with a (male) classmate (I'll call him M) from those high school days (and before that; we probably met in 4th grade) via Reunion.com. M is actually the person I blame for my absolute phobia about eyeballs because he used to like to turn his eyelids inside out in the cafeteria in grade school. I still get the heeby jeebies about that. But I digress. Anyway, almost out of the blue, I remembered the party where the lights went out, which I haven't thought about in years.

On the night in question, I'm probably 16 and in 11th grade. I'm pretty sure it was in the spring of 1981, which is not long before my family left Small Town in Illinois for good. I'm at said party which is at the apartment (upstairs in a house as I recall) of a friend/classmate and her boyfriend. None of my regular friends are there, but it's a big crowd, and I'm drinking (and probably smoking) and having a good time. There are a lot of people there whom I have various classes with, but they're more like acquaintances than friends. I was in a lot of "smart" classes in school, but a good number of the smart kids were jocks or deathly dull, so we didn't socialize much. But sometimes, we end up at the same social functions. It was a Small Town.

Skip ahead awhile in the party, and for whatever reason, I'm making out with a guy who never before (and never after) did I look in any kind of "I'd hit that" kind of way. I suspect the drinking/smoking may have played a part in my behavior. Anyway, I figure out fairly quickly (because I am smart) that this guy thinks that maybe he can, in the parlance of my son, "cash in his V card" with me. He can't. There was no way I was making a man out of (having sex with) him, but I didn't mind the macking, so I went with it. After a while, he started to try to place in hands in places that I didn't like (Boobtown for example). To discourage this, I started leaving marks on his neck. Lots of them. Every time his hand wandered, I made another mark. (He did not go to school the following Monday; he looked diseased when I was done with him). It worked, and he kept his hands where they belonged. Eventually that macking stopped (couldn't tell you why or how), and I was roaming around the apartment, spreading sunshine as I'm wont to do.

How I got to the next part, I don't really remember; time and liquor have a way of doing that to me after all. But what I remember is this: I was standing in the hallway talking (flirting maybe) with M, and the lights went out (blew a fuse or a circuit or something). While the lights were out, I was making out with M a little bit. Which as I recall was quite nice (and I remember thinking that I hadn't realized until that point how tall he was). This activity with him was something that I had never really thought about, mostly because once I hit junior high age, the guys that I had gone to elementary school with basically fell into the "I've known him since 4th grade, we're just friends" category. But when the lights came back on, I remember thinking that it was time to leave. And that's what I did. (As a side note, I tend to do that; just leave when I feel like I'm ready to move on from one place to the next, regardless of what anyone else wants to do or wants me to do. It's probably annoying, but I get the feeling my strong personality and insistence on leaving certain parties has probably saved me some shit over the years.)

Now, after the first guy didn't show up to school the following Monday (the party was either Friday or Saturday night as these parties tend to be), I was a bit embarrassed, so I basically put the whole evening out of my mind. Never really talked about it or thought about it, and eventually just forgot it. And then I saw M had searched my name on Reunion.com (it's worth having a paid membership to that site just for that feature, I might add), and I had a little memory flash. I don't know if he remembers that particular evening; I mean, a couple of weeks ago, I didn't remember it myself, but with many years of time to cushion the parts that embarrassed me, all in all, it's a good memory. It's nice to have it back. Thanks, M (who may or may not read this).